Update

Just a quick note, but I will not be using this blog anymore. I’m going to keep all of my posts on my main blog for now. Nanowrimo 2010 is about to begin, so if you want to read more about my writing I’ll probably be talking about it over there in the next few weeks. You can find me right here: Birdwhisperer’s Weblog.

(There is a possibility that I will return to this story and these characters someday. It will not be any time soon, and it will be very different. If I do, I will mention it on my main blog.)

See you there!

The Writer’s Meme

I found this meme at this blog, and I have officially stolen it!

Do you have a pen/pencil collection? Nope, I have plenty of pens and mechanical pencils, but I don’t collect any, and don’t have many preferences.

Do you prefer handwriting or typing furiously? Typing! I don’t like writing by hand.

How often do you get inspiration? um… I’m not really sure how often. I daydream every day and night, so might that count, since all my day dreams are about possible stories? Sometimes certain people I meet, or events will spark an idea for a story, or characters. I usually get new ideas from dreams or while I’m doing the dishes.

Are you blogging this on a computer or laptop? A regular ole computer.

Do you get inspiration more in the early morning or late at night? Well, seeing as I’m normally never up before 11 am *coughnooncough* I most certainly am never inspired in the morning. Unless I’m lying awake in bed daydreaming, which happens often. And also seeing as I usually stay up much later than I should be and that’s usually when I write, I’d say in the afternoon and evening.

Do certain movies/books/music inspire you? Celtic music does, books of similar genres that I write (Fantasy) and Fantasy (or even Sci-Fi) movies. Not always or often, but more than any other kinds of movies/books/music.

How do you incorporate God into your stories? I do it by making most of my main characters Christian (called Followers in this story). I try to have them often pray, read the Bible (called Scripture/s) and witness and get really preachy to the characters who aren’t Christian. Those that aren’t Christian are either the bad guys or will become saved later on in the story. Wars are won simply because the good guys have God on their side, and many battles too. There is much discussion between characters of similar or different viewpoints about good and evil, trusting God and so on. There are issues with forgiveness between different characters, letting oneself be deceived, anger, fear and so on, all with God and the Bible kept in forefront of each individual struggle. Even the unbelieving characters will eventually have to face the fact that their problems can’t be overcome without God.

Do you kill off your villains or make them repent? It depends on the villain. The main villains will more likely than not die at the end. Secondary villains, most likely will too, unless I like them, and their personalities would allow for repentance. Any other little ‘henchmen’ might live just ’cause, might repent, and might die. It really depends on the individual. For this story, King Tavoris will be killed off, Brogan too most likely, unless I think it would be better for him to skulk off somewhere in disgrace. Izalda will repent of ever having anything to do with Tavoris and go back home with her dragon.

Are the majority of your characters magical beings, humans, halflings, or something else? All my characters are humans. There are two dragons in this story, but they aren’t sentient ‘people-dragons’ so I don’t count them as characters.

What genre of writing are you most comfortable in? If you were to step out of your comfort zone, what would you write? I write Christian/Fantasy fiction. If I were to try anything else it would be Contemporary Christian/Fantasy Fiction, but that wouldn’t be stepping out of my comfort zone…  I might try Science Fiction, but something way out of my comfort zone would probably be Mystery/Detective. I despise Detective stories.

Do you work better alone or with someone else? As in partner up with someone else and write a story as a team? I’ve never tried it! I think it would probably be fun, if perhaps challenging.

Do your stories make sense, or do they ramble wildly? Uh… I dunno. They probably ramble, lol.

Are your characters mostly Renegades, Peacekeepers or a mish-mash? Hehe, since I’m familiar with the ‘Renegade Characters’ of the person I stole this blog meme from, then no, they’re not renegades. None of my characters revolt against my Authority (pun-intended) and usually keep to what plot-line I have hashed together. They are peaceable, plot-abiding characters the lot of them, and they do what I tell them to. I think they fear me because they know I won’t hesitate overly much to killing one or two off in exchange for a mushy, tear-jerking ending.

Are you a sucker for good grammar? I try to have good grammar, but probably fail miserably in many places.

How is your handwriting? It’s not pretty, but it’s legible… when I concentrate hard enough.

How evil are your villains? Well, Tavoris is relatively nasty in my opinion. Brogan is horrid, albeit confused, but still horrid. They’re more like ‘horrible, but human‘ not the ‘MWAHAHAHAA!! I love being evviiilllll!!’ kind of villainous characters. In  my other stories though, they can get pretty evil. The most fun ones are the ones that are insane.

Are you long-winded or succinct? I dunno, am I?

Do you have typical “writer” traits such as ink stains on your fingers or a pencil behind your ear? Lol, I don’t think so. I talk to myself, and put myself in my characters’ heads and talk to them, or each other, or themselves. Or is that just wacko traits, rather than writer traits?

Would someone walking past you on the street consider you normal? They might not, because I only ever wear skirts, but that hasn’t got much to do with writing. If I were daydreaming, and my lips were moving as I talked to my characters through my characters, or I kept making different facial expressions for seemingly no reason, they might think I’m insane. But I don’t do that in public much. I think.

Do you write mostly poetry, stories, novels or a mixture? What’s the difference between a story and a novel? If a story is shorter, then I write novels mostly. I don’t think it would be physically possible for me to write something short, lol. I will on rare occasions write poems, but they almost never rhyme.

Do your characters vary in accents, appearance and attitude or are they mostly the same? Oh yeah! I love writing different kinds of accents, and it’s fun trying to figure out how to spell out the sound of the word the way they say them. Appearances vary too, though Fane and Lara look similar because they’re related. I try to give everyone different attitudes as best I can.

Do real people and/or places inspire your writing? Three of my characters in this story are based after real, specific people. There is probably a little bit of everyone I know in all of my characters, but just those three are based solely on one person. Places not so much, and not at all in this story.

How many blogs/websites/internet haunts do you have? Several.

Who is your favorite character? Or do you choose to remain unbiased in case of a revolt? They don’t revolt! My favorite character in this story is either Fane or Alastair.

Do you talk to your characters? Do they talk back? I don’t talk to my characters! What do you think I am, a nut?? No, I’m classier than that, I’ll pretend to be one of my characters, and then talk to all the other characters. They talk back quite a bit, that’s where most of the casual conversation in my stories comes from.

Are you more comfortable with girl or boy main characters? Girls, because I know how girls think. I find that most books I read written by a guy, but with girl main characters (especially when the character that you’re in the head of the most is a girl) the girls are unrealistic, boring, cliched and overall just dumb. Not always, but mostly. I once read a book that was supposed to be a girl’s diary, but it was written by a guy. It was terrible! And she was so. very. boring. And unrealistic. So I figure that this is also probably true for girls who write from a guy’s point of view, but I wouldn’t know since I’m not a guy. I have many guy main characters, but I usually have one character that I write from the point of view of, and that’s most often a girl.

Do you follow basic overused plot lines with new twists thrown in or do you depart from the norm all the time? I try to depart from the norm! Whether I succeed or not…

Do you feel God has called you to be a writer/poet? Will you grasp “the power of the pen”? I do. I firmly believe that, whether I’m a talented writer or not, writing is my God-given gift that I will, should and must use to serve Him. Before I will let myself write each day I will pray that what I write will honor God, that He will bless it so that what I write will bless others. One of my own personal goals is that this particular story will reach out to my cousin, even if I made her character a bit ridiculous. I really want it to reach out to her, and it’s the best chance I have to witness to her, since she has somewhat of a vested interest in two of the characters, hers and Alex’s. She hasn’t read any of it yet though, which is probably for the best, since it’s not finished.
I also hope to encourage other Christian teens to use their gifts for God before they invest them in the world, because He is the one that gave them to you, and He can take them back. And even if He doesn’t, you’ll never get any fulfillment or happiness  from your gifts unless you use them for God’s honor and glory. (That goes for anyone who doesn’t believe and trust in God too; that’s why so few things in this world bring true happiness and why it is always temporary.)
About a year ago I struggled with not wanting to use my gift for God, wanting to write books with all kinds of magic, sorcery and witchcraft in them, which God clearly condemns in the Bible. At that time I couldn’t care less what God wanted, but then I changed and not long after I came to the realization that I wouldn’t be able to use my gift the way I had always done and planned. I thought I wouldn’t be able to use it all, that I had lost my gift completely. It was terrifying. Then dumb little me figured out that you can write fiction and include God and Christ! It took me a while to figure out how to do it though, but here I am now, writing Christian Fiction, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

So, there you go! If you’d like to you can steal this too.

~Birdwhisperer

Excerpt #6 – The Ambush

This excerpt skips a lot of what has previously happened, so here’s a synopsis of what’s going on: Alastair, Lara, Fane, Dawn, and Dalziel (whew, that’s a lot) reach a manor in the forest called Nicholson Hall. While there they meet Alastair’s younger sister, Princess Mariana, who is staying at the Hall for the spring. Everyone picks out new weapons at the Hall’s armory and Alastair ‘inform’ the others that he will be going on to Talasek Village alone, and Lieutenant Dalziel will take the other three somewhere safer. Brogan spies on them and meets secretly with Dawn one night, getting her to tell him where Alastair is going (and Alastair is still pretending to be the Crown Prince). Everyone walks Alastair out to the path to say their goodbyes, and when they get back to the Hall they find there a fatally injured man who claims to have been ambushed by soldiers asking about a prince. And here’s where the excerpt starts:

“They were Torrescans?” Dawn began in a panicked voice, “Looking for a prince…” She uttered a pained cry, “They’re going to kill him!” And she took off running.
“Dawn!” Fane cried, running after her, “Dawn, stop!”
“I have to help him!” Dawn screamed as she tore the Hall, out the door and along the path, Fane following several yards behind.
“Fane!” Lara yelled, about to run after him, but Dalziel grabbed her arm, stopping her. “Get your bow.” he said, Lara grabbed for her bow and quiver which she had dropped near the door to the sitting room. Dalziel took her arm again and began to pull her along toward the stables.
“By getting horses we will make up for in speed what time we lose.” Dalziel said without stopping before Lara had a chance to protest. One of the other stable-hands was in the process of saddling a horse, completely unaware of what was going on in the rest of the Hall. Dalziel lifted Lara and pushed her up onto the mostly saddled horse. He then took another horse from it’s stall and leaped onto it, riding bareback. They took off at once, leaving the mystified stable-hand in their wake.
Fane’s legs pounded the ground, churning up the dirt path. He kept his eyes locked on Dawn and searching for a glimpse of Alastair around the bend. He had his spear and rod at the ready, and could see that Dawn had drawn her dirk. The skirt of her dress flew around her legs though it did not impede her running at all.
“Alastair!” she screamed as she caught sight of him, still walking beside his horse. The young prince turned in bewilderment. “Dawn?”
“Alastair, watch out!”
Brogan gaped as Dawn ran up the path toward Alastair, shouting her warning. Their target was still unaware of their presence, but realization of what Dawn was shouting began to be seen in his eyes.
He yelled for the captain of the band of Torrescans that Rosshain had summoned when he learned that the Crown Prince would be on the path alone. They were hiding among the shrubs and trees at the side of road, prepared to pounce upon the prince and take him to Tavoris for interrogation.
“Now! Attack now!” he yelled to the Torrescans. After a nod from their captain they drew their weapons and swarmed out into the road. Dawn screamed again as she saw Alastair being surrounded by soldiers, and threw herself at the nearest one. Alastair was far from defenseless however, and was taking out some Torrescans of his own with his broadsword. Fane had now joined the fray and at that moment Dalziel and Lara rode up. Dalziel grabbed for the reins of Lara’s horse and stopped them both while they were still far enough from the fight to not be potential targets for the soldiers.
“Lara, I want you to climb that tree there and take out as many of them as you can. Try to keep us from being overwhelmed and don’t come down until I tell you to!”
“Yes sir.”
“You’re going to have to aim to kill, don’t bother with the wounded, we can take care of those. Just move from one target to the next and don’t look back.”
Lara nodded and Dalziel gave her boost into the higher branches of the trees. Dalziel then remounted and went at the Torrescans, having a greater advantage while on horseback.
Lara could not see very well from the tree she was in, so she carefully and quickly climbed through to the branches of a nearby tree. She had lost sight of Alastair as she notched an arrow to her bow.
“Alastair, where are you?” she shouted as she pulled the bowstring back, the fletching on the arrow brushing against her cheek.
“Here!” he called out in the midst of a large clump of Torrescans. Lara aimed, loosed the arrow and averted her gaze once it left the bow.
“Dawn?” she called out.
“Here.”
Lara repeated the process.
“Lara!” Fane called, having trouble with an exceptionally large Torrescan. This continuned for a while; either Lara would call out to those she could not see, or they would call out to her for help. The Torrescans had several casualties, but the only injuries on the side of the Coratheans was a slash on Dawn’s shoulder and Alastair had bruised his shin.
Brogan had inconspicuously held back from the fighting and was using his time trying to locate the archer in the trees that was taking out so many of them. He finally spotted her and pulled aside the captain.
“Lara!” Dalziel called out. Lara turned her attention to him.
“Lara, over here!” Dawn yelled. She was being forced away from the others and backed against the trunk of a large tree. “Lara!”
“I can’t see you!” Lara called, searching the area frantically. She leaned forward, bracing her feet against the branch she stood on and placed her free hand on the trunk. Then rough hands grasped her neck and she found herself looking straight into the eyes of a large man who was grinning maliciously. She gasped as his grip on her throat tightened and she could no longer breathe. She kicked at him but it had no effect.
Fane saw that Dawn was in serious trouble and broke free of his opponent to help her. He managed to kill two of the Torrescans while their backs were still to him, and yelled for Dawn to run.
Lara’s vision was failing and her lungs burned. Then a strange clarity came to her mind and she remembered the brief fighting lessons at Nicholson Hall and what Dalziel had said to do if someone had you in stranglehold. Lara brought her right arm around in front of her, her palm coming into contact with the man’s chin and pushing his head back. This broke his hold on her and she grasped her bow with both hands and swung it around at his head. She heard a sickening thwack and the man toppled out of the tree and fell on top of two of his companions. Lara dropped onto her hands and knees, clinging to the thick branch as she gasped and coughed for air.
“Lara!” Fane yelled as he found himself in the same trouble that Dawn had been in, his back to the tree and surrounded by the enemy. He was putting up a brave fight until Brogan reached around the tree his back was too and bashed him over the head.
“Take him and follow me.” Brogan said, not thinking straight because of the chaos of the battle and thinking that this was Prince Riobard. “Captain!” he called.
Rosshain and the other commander could see the fight was not going in their favor despite their greater number, and when Brogan shouted for them that he had who they were after the Captain called for his men to withdraw.
Lara had recovered and was searching along the path and woods nearby as the Torrescans made their exit.
“Alastair, are you alright?” Lara called, her throat was sore and her voice raspy.
“Well enough.” he grunted, rubbing his knee and trying to relax his muscles after wielding that heavy sword.
“Dawn?”
“I’m fine.” Dawn called back, walking over to stand beside Alastair. Lara had climbed down from her tree and tried to hold back bile as she stepped through the carnage. “Fane?”
She glanced around nervously when he did not respond. Dalziel was coming over to her, leading the three horses beside him. “Fane?” she called, louder. “Fane!” she searched the area with her eyes, trying to remember where she had seen him last. Her heart began to beat louder and her hands shook. “Dawn, where is Fane?”
“I…” Dawn began, her brow knotting. “I don’t know.”
“Fane!?”

I couldn’t find a good place to end it without it being unreasonably long, so that will have to do. I hope you liked it!

~Birdwhisperer

Excerpt #4, or would this be #5?

Just a note, whatever Alastair or Dawn says does not necessarily reflect my view of things. Remember as you read that Alastair does not believe in God, and Dawn, though she claims to believe, does not act any differently. Dawn is also obsessed with love, and guys, so the most frequent conversation she is in will be ones about Brogan or Alastair.

The first bit of this excerpt is just the silly bit where Alastair and Dawn briefly discuss love. The very last paragraph, though short, is very important, to me anyways. (Also, there is a scene before this when Alastair meets up with his brother, the Crown Prince, and Riobard insists that Dalziel, one of the Royal Guard, accompany him. Just so you know who this Dalziel guy is.)

Dawn had finally gotten a hold of her giggles and she and Alastair were also engaged in conversation.
“So…” she cleared her throat, staring at the handsome young man, “Do you have anyone you like? Some foreign princess with sharp canines?” Alastair smiled at the reference and shook his head no.
“What about you?” Alastair asked, “What about that Brogan person?”
Dawn looked down. “I still… I know I still love him but…”
“But he hurt you?” Alastair said, his voice slightly angry. “Isn’t that what you told Lara?”
“Did she tell you that?” Dawn asked, embarrassed.
“No.” Alastair said comfortingly.”I overheard the two of you talking a few days ago.”
“Oh.”
They rode in silence for a time, Dawn saddened by the thoughts brought up and Alastair thinking hard.
“Why do you love him?” he asked, genuinely wondering.
“I…” Dawn began but stopped. “I don’t know, I just do. Is love something that can just be explained away?”
“I wouldn’t know.” Alastair said kindly.
“I mean I, I think I still love him. He’s told me he loves me-”
“And he turns and says the same thing to someone else?” Alastair pointed out angrily. Dawn grew flustered.
“I don’t know! I… he’s said that… that he should never have done that, that being away from me broke him into pieces, that he loves me.” Dawn’s voice was growing frantic. She turned to Alastair with pleading eyes. “How can I just ignore that? He loves me. That has to count for something!”
Alastair turned away. “I’m not so sure he does.” He said in a distant, cold voice. Dawn’s eyes began to water.
Alastair turned back to her, “Whether he loves you or not isn’t all that important. He’s probably miles away anyways. It’s whether or not you really love him.” At that Alastair turned his horse around so that he was now beside Dalziel and immediately began to debate fiercely with the Followers on the merits of the prophecies they had been discussing.
Dawn sighed and wiped her eyes, her heart feeling numb, on fire and drowned in sadness at the same time.
“God.” she said quietly. She was not sure whether this was said as profanity, a hard-hearted curse or a quiet, broken hearted plea for help. Whatever it was the moment soon passed and all thoughts of God were gone from her mind. If only it had been a plea. If only.

Victory!

I win I win I win I win I win I win I win!!!

Ahem, but never mind that! I’m either barely or not even halfway through my plot, so I still have lots of work ahead of me. I plan on trying to keep up the pace of writing 1,600 words a day and I will finish this book!

In the mean time…

“There you go.” Dawn said smiling, as she placed three mugs of steaming hot apple cider before them. “Will that be all?”
“Perhaps.” Alastair said, he smiled again, tilting his head, “By the way, I like your canines.”
“Uh…” The waitress’ brow furrowed, she seemed at a loss of how to respond. “Um… What?”
“I like your canines.” He repeated.
“My what?”
“You know…” Alastair said, pointing to the top teeth on the sides that were pointier than the other ones. “Your canines.”
“Oh!” Dawn exclaimed, placing a hand near her mouth. “Uh… thank you?”
“Your quite welcome.” Alastair said, inclining his head and smiling.
The waitress turned hesitantly, still somewhat confused, and walked back toward the front of the tavern. Lara stared at Alastair in horror as Fane tried to smother his uncontrollable laughter. “I like your canines!?” Lara hissed, quite shocked.
“What?” Alastair asked innocently. “I find sharp teeth attractive.”
Lara put her head back on her arms. “Awwgh!”
Fane tried to quench his fits of laughter by taking a sip of the cider, but only managed to burn his tongue and choke on it.
“Don’t hurt yourself Fane.”

I have said this several times before, but Dawn is based after my cousin Cherokee, and Alastair after some other guy named Alex. Alex actually once said to Cherokee “I like your canines.” and Cherokee said to me “You have to put that in your book somewhere!” So, I did. And I’m almost embarrassed by it, but it’s kinda funny. And by the way, that is my line, for my book, so don’t get any ideas!

(In case you were wondering, the excerpt above is when Alastair, Lara and Fane first arrive in the town of Lataine, and first meet Dawn.)

Since that excerpt was short, here’s another!

Brogan tore through the mountain forest on another stolen horse. It was night, two days after Dawn had left Lataine.
He was going to Trail’s End.
He would join the Torrescans.
It was all his frenzied and angry mind could think to do at the time. And in the past days on the way to Trail’s End he had managed to reason with himself and twist things in his mind to make them look like he wished until this course of action made perfect sense: He would join the Torrescans and help them as a spy and informant. They would take him in, of course, he knew the whereabouts of one of king Siddel’s sons and also had Dawn. If he could find a way to talk to her without the others knowing he could gain information from her. She would tell him everything she asked him to. And a spies job would most certainly pay well, he thought to himself, and he would make sure he had the chance to kill this prince. (Dawn had never mentioned Alastair’s name to him.) And perhaps, in the end, he would even be able to start a life with Dawn. But, if she did not consent, he would be rich by then and would doubtless be able to find another woman to satisfy him. It wouldn’t really matter at that point.
And so he rode, closer and closer to the den of wolves. He had wanted to follow Dawn eastward, but his decided course of action led him to the Torrescans, and his only knowledge of their whereabouts was at Trail’s End. He hoped to speak with Tavoris himself, but it was unlikely that he would be at the insignificant little village. It was a start though, he told himself, and he had to start somewhere.
Brogan rode on, the wind was strong and pulled at his cloak and threatened to dismount him. Still he rode. This will work, he told himself. This must work.
And even if it didn’t it wouldn’t matter. He would not be turning back.
The sun had begun to rise behind him, shedding light where only the dark had been and allowing the mountains to cast their huge shadows on the valley below. At that moment he spied the little village nestled between a mountain and a lake. His regretful sigh was lost to the wind as he sped down the next hill. He had to skirt the edge of Alosin Lake to reach the town and as his horse sped around a corner he felt a rock or a branch strike him in his side and he flew of the horse. He landed hard on his back, the breath knocked out of him. He struggled to his feet as two men wearing chain mail and deep blue tunics approached him. Their tunics were decorated only by the image of a single, silvery star to the right of a fiery sword. It was the same symbol that graced the Torrescan flag.
“Please, I come peacefully sirs!” Brogan said, moving back just to be safe.
“Who are you, from where do you come and to whom is your allegiance?” said one of the Torrescans, threatening him with his sword point.
“My name is Brogan, I hail from Lataine – it’s a small town a few days journey from here. And I wish to say that my allegiance is to King Tavoris, for that is why I come here.”
The soldier lowered his sword, “What do you know of King Tavoris?”
“I know that his armies march upon this land.”
“In this land really.” The second soldier sneered.
“Yes. I have come with information for your king, and hope that he will accept my services.”
The first soldier inspected Brogan distastefully. “Alright then,” he said, making up his mind. “On your feet, your coming with us.”
The soldiers then led him down to Trail’s End to speak with a man who claimed to be in charge of the small unit of soldiers posted there. He had Brogan kept imprisoned in the small cellar of one of the houses, because the prison was full of the more rebellious of the townsfolk. The next night Brogan was taken to a clearing high up on one of the nearby mountains. He could have died from fright as a massive dragon flew above them, and then descended to the ground a few yards away. The man in charge explained Brogan’s request to a little girl he called Lady Izalda who was perched atop the dragon which was named Denodron. Then before he could ask where they were going, Brogan was made to mount the dragon, along with another soldier.
He shut his eyes tight unashamedly as the great beast raised it’s bat-like wings and leaped back into the sky. The sudden increase in wind and cold stung his skin that was still exposed beneath the additional coat, scarf and gloves that he had been given before he climbed onto Denodron. He’d been told that he would need them, and now he believed it. But worse than the cold was the gut wrenching dips and turns that Izalda seemed to delight in having the dragon do.
Several hours later when they landed to give Denodron a rest and the others a chance to sleep, Brogan managed to ask where they were headed. Izalda just stared at him contemptuously with her young, cold eyes for a while, then finally answered mockingly, “To see the king, isn’t that what you wanted?”
Brogan nodded absently. The way she said it made him doubt if that was truly what he wanted.
‘No!’ he thought ‘I will do this. It’ll work, I’ll make it work!’

I hope you enjoyed it!

~Birdwhisperer

November 24th

*does the I’m-at-45k-words dance* and the *I’m-gonna-try-to-reach-50k-by- the-25th dance whilst I procrastinate on the interwebz* and then there’s the *I’m-still-ahead-of-my-dad dance* and the *but-Blogmaster-beat-me-to-winning scowl*

On the 25th of November the novel-verifier comes online, and then (provided you’ve written 50k words) you can become an official winner of Nanowrimo ’08! And yes, congratulations Blogmaster, for winning.

I will try and post another excerpt, but my dad will have to do his downloading thing before I can get it up. As I have already said, the character Dawn is based after my cousin Cherokee. Well, I have another character named Brogan who is based after my cousin’s ex-boyfriend. I’ve never met him, but from what I’ve heard of him I don’t like him. Many the evil snicker has echoed about my room as I thought of all the horrible things I can do to his character. And surprisingly enough, I think he’s turning out to be rather interesting. He’s so twisted and wily, traitorous, treacherous, backstabbing… And Cherokee will get very mad at me if she reads this, or figures out who ‘Brogan’ is if she ever reads the book. But… oh well, it’s one of the many wonderful liberties that comes with being an author.

I certainly hope she doesn’t read this though…

~Birdwhisperer

Excerpt #2 – Trail’s End

This is a bit long for an excerpt, but anyway, this starts at the second scene in chapter 2, and is basically when Lara, Fane and Alastair first find out about the Torrescans invading Corathea. It’s still in rough draft mode so the grammar is relatively… not good. (There might even be some mispeling in there too!) Well anyway, here it is and I hope you like it:

“We should reach Trail’s End before noon. The lake Alosin too; it’s right next to Trail’s End.” Alastair said, leading his horse by the reins along the muddied path. Last night the rain had stopped, and the sky had cleared. The only evidence that it had rained was the mud on the ground and water droplets on the budding leaves of trees and bushes.
“Trail’s End?” Fane asked.
“It’s a village,” Alastair answered, “Named that because-”
“Because it had once been the last village on the trail West through the mountains.” Lara cut in.
“Yes.” Alastair replied, pretending to be annoyed, “And the road still ends at the village.”
“What are walking on then?” Lara asked.
“Mud. But really, this isn’t much of a road, more like a hunting trail. A real road should be wide enough for a wagon to pass through, these ‘roads’ are barely big enough for me to walk beside my horse.”
“If this is a ‘hunting trail’ then the trail doesn’t actually end at Trail’s End.” Lara said, grinning.
“Well… but… but it used to be, and it was named years and years ago when the road was a trail and it ended there.”
“What’s your horse’s name?” Lara asked suddenly. Alastair glanced at her, bemused.
“She does that often. Changes the subject randomly.” Fane explained.
“I do not! I just wanted to know what his horses name was, so I asked.”
Alastair just chuckled and said “Onofrian.”
“Any reason?”
He shrugged, “No, not really. I just made it up.”
“Ah.” Lara said.
They walked in silence after that, until the little town of Trail’s End came into view, nestled beside a sparkling blue lake that appeared to have risen some with the rain. “We’ll need to buy some extra provisions when we get there, seeing as all your food was stolen and I wasn’t planning on two extra companions. We should try to find two more horses as well; the journey will go much faster.” The siblings nodded their consent; they began to descend the steep, narrow path to Trail’s End.
The first person they passed by when they reached the town was a young boy. With his eyes on the ground he strode quickly and determinedly to wherever he was headed. He was the last child they saw out in the streets of Trail’s End.
The other townsfolk, when they noticed the presence of the strangers, paused what they were doing to study them with fear in their eyes. They soon went back to their business, but in an anxious and hurried manner, and without taking their eyes off of Alastair, Lara and Fane. Everyone spoke either in hushed voices or not at all and several of the men and women also glanced nervously at certain men who stood at street corners or next to certain shops. These men were less conspicuous in their observations of the strangers, but their gazes were far more intense.
Alastair cleared his throat nervously, composed himself, and strode over to one the townspeople.
“Excuse me sir, might you show us-” The man continued on his way, averting his face.
“Well that was odd.” Lara said quietly, almost whispering.
“Everything in this place is odd, and I’ve been through here before. It wasn’t like this the last time I was here.” Alastair said, gripping Onofrian’s reins tighter and moving his other up to rest on shoulder, near to the hilt of his broadsword. Fane adjusted his grip on his staves and Lara on her bow. They tried asking several other men and women for directions to a stable or fruit vendor, with no success. Instinctively, Lara kept a close watch on the sinister looking men who lingered in the shadows, always with one hand hidden beneath their cloak. One of these crosses the main street and whispered something to another man. They nodded, eying the newcomers. Lara felt her gut tighten and sent up a quick prayer for protection and that this would turn out to be no more than a strange experience to be forgotten in the days to come.
“Ma’am, excuse me. Excuse me!” Alastair hailed a young woman who was hurrying to the other side of town. This time, she looked up, her hands quivering but with a nervous smile pasted onto her lips. “Aye sir?”
Alastair sighed in exasperated relief, “Ma’am, could you please direct us to the bakers shop?”
The woman glanced to her left where one of the more sinister and dangerous looking men glared at her.
“Oh, yes, yes of course sir,” she began to stammer rapidly, “The path out of Trail’s End? Yes, of course sir, yes it’s just over that way, you see sir, just around the corner past the blacksmiths shop. Enjoy your visit to Trail’s End.” She flashed a smile and muttered between her teeth, “Make it a short one, sir!” And she scurried off again, faster than she had been before.
Alastair cursed under his breath. Lara shut her ears to it and kept her gaze on the men. “Let’s just keep walking this way.” She said, and they resumed walking toward the other end of town.
“Alastair, I think we should leave.” Fane hissed, trying to hurry them and keep Lara between himself and the people of Trail’s End.
“I’m going to find out what’s going on here first. You’re welcome to go the way that other lady recommended, and wait for me outside town.”
“I don’t think-” Lara began, but stopped short when she heard screams coming from behind them. Two of the men that had been lurking in the corners had tackled and were trying to drag away the woman that had told them way out. She tried to break free and run toward the strangers, screaming, “Leave! Leave now, they are Torrescans! They’ve taken the village! Go!”
“Run!” Alastair shouted and drew his sword as two men ran at them from opposite sides. Lara quickly notched an arrow to her bow, fear gripping her heart, and ran backwards toward where the woman had directed them. She rounded the corner, with Fane and Alastair close behind, and saw the road that led out the other side of Trail’s End. The road was indeed wide, and almost immediately after it broke from the village it began to ascend a steep and rocky mountainside. She looked behind her to be sure that the others were close, and saw that now four, no it was now six, men were behind them, brandishing swords of their own. Fane, who was a faster runner, soon caught up to Lara but stayed behind her. But when Alastair reached the base of the incline, his horse having run off, he stopped and turned to face the men charging at him.
“Alastair, what are you doing!?’ Lara screamed at him, stopping in the middle of the road a quarter up the hill.
“I will not run from a fight!” he shouted back, awaiting the approach of his enemies.
“They outnumber you! You’ll be killed!” Fane shouted back, hesitantly descending the hill again, not wanting to leave Lara.
“Alastair!” Lara shouted again, drawing her bowstring taut.
“No!” he yelled back. Lara aimed at one of the men’s chest, squeezed her eyes shut and released the string with a sob. When she opened her eyes moments later she saw that the man she had aimed at was on the ground, but two more had taken his place. She aimed again, and fired, this time not daring to close her eyes for Alastair’s sake.
“If you’re killed what will happen to us?”
“You must both run then.”
“Don’t be an idiot! If you die here I’ll make sure everyone believes you died a cowards death!”
Alastair laughed wildly as he engaged with his first opponent, “You wouldn’t!”
“Yes I would, and I’m not joking.” Lara shouted back as she released another shaft. Fane had now entered the fight and she was loosing arrows as quickly as she could make aim.
“Alastair, please! There are too many! You are risking our lives needlessly!” Fane shouted at him from where he stood by his side. “For my sister, please.” He hissed. As another wave of men came at them Alastair began to waver. “For Lara, then. Come on!” And the two turned and ran. Lara continued to shoot at the Torrescans, if that was indeed who they were, until Fane and Alastair had reached her. She then fled to a higher area where she continued to slow their pursuers with arrows. Then Fane grabbed her arm and pulled her forward. Lara was now weeping, her arms tingled from each release of the bowstring. They felt as though they no longer belonged to her. She had used them to kill.

My First Excerpt. Mwahaha!

Well, here you go! My first excerpt has been posted for your reading pleasure. (Whoever this hypothetical ‘you’ may be.) Anyways, this is just after Fane and Lara meet Alastair:

That morning was gray and overcast, and the wind was cold and strong. Fane grumbled a bit as they broke camp, but Alastair seemed to be nothing but jokes, laughing and smiles. He made Lara ride on his horse, but after half an hour she said that the wind was worse up there and walked with the other two. By noon it had begun to rain in thin, sprinkling sheets and in another hour the threesome were completely drenched and were forced to make camp again. They soon found an overhanging of stone that would serve as a shelter from the rain, and Alastair and Fane were eventually able to start a fire.
“So, uh, Fane.” Alastair began, “You seek an apprenticeship? What trade are you going to learn?”
Fane glanced back from where he had been sitting, his back to the fire and watching the rain. “That of a minstrel.”
“Ah,” Alastair nodded thoughtfully, and added, “So, are you any good?”
Lara sighed inwardly in relief. Things had been a bit tense between Fane and Alastair the entire day, but Fane’s mood always lightened when asked about his music. The corners of Fane’s mouth lifted slightly.
“Sure, at least so I’m told.” He glanced at Lara.
“Why don’t you play us something?” Lara asked. “The day could use some of your music, what with this weather.”
Fane nodded and drew out a small flute from within his coat. He pressed it to his lips and soon the instrument let out a single note, long and low. Fane then moved into a melody, a keening dirge. After a few minutes of that he sped the song up until the flute’s song was flying across the notes and tunes faster and faster that had Lara not known how good Fane was she would have guessed that he would soon loose the beat or skip a note. But no, he knew this song well and finished with a flourish.
“You’re quite good!” Alastair said while applauding him. Lara smiled, proud of her brother.
“Thank you.” Fane replied embarrassedly, “Lara will also be learning a trade when we get to Srewnen, God willing.”
“I make up stories.” Lara explained quickly.
“Oh really? Do you also retell events? Like say… what’s happening now?”
“Well, yes, if it’s interesting.”
Alastair looked thoughtful for a moment. “If you tell stories you must familiar with those that have already been told?”
“Well,” Lara furrowed her brow, “Yes. Why?”
Alastair smiled, “You’ve heard of people like knights, kings, princes, generals and such will sometimes be given a warrior name?”
“A warrior name?” Lara laughed, she thought she knew what he was talking about, but the way he said sounded somewhat ridiculous.
“Oh, you know. The knight or whoever he is does something noteworthy, and someone – usually a young lady – will give him his warrior’s title. Like ‘Ehren – King’s Champion’ or ‘Chryner the Slayer’. That sort of thing.”
“Oh yes, I know what you mean now. But why are you asking?”
“Well, what is a young prince gone out adventuring without his title?”
Lara laughed, “I see, you want me to give you your ‘warrior name’.”
“What a wonderful idea! Thanks for offering!” Alastair teased.
Lara laughed again and stood up from where they had been seated by the fire. “Very well. Fane, you don’t mind if I give him his warrior name before you, do you?” Alastair pretended to be offended then leaned forward eagerly.
Fane shook his head in in mock exasperation, “No, go right ahead.” And he turned back toward the rain and began to play through the chords on his little flute.
“Alright then.” Lara smoothed out her skirt, “Hand me your sword.”
Alastair reluctantly retrieved his sword from where it had been lying beside him. “What are you going to do with it?” he asked hesitantly as he handed it over. Lara almost tipped over from the weight of it and couldn’t even get the end off the ground. “Nothing much apparently. Here, kneel down and put your hand on the hilt.” Alastair did so. Lara took in a deep breathe and put a regal and serious look on her face.
“Alastair, son of King Siddel and Queen Jrayla, brother to the Crown Prince Riobard and yourself a prince of this land Corathea?”
“Aye?” Alastair asked staring up into Lara’s face, completely serious.
“I name thee, Prince Alastair… I name thee… hmm… Alastair,” Lara paused for dramatic effect. “Bandit-Bane.”
Fane’s faint music was interrupted by a burst of laughter, which he quickly tried to smother.
“What? I wasn’t joking you know!” Alastair got up indignantly.
“And neither was I!” Lara said, also trying to contain her laughter. “You said that a young lady will give a warrior his name ‘when he does something noteworthy’.”
“I saved your life!” he cried, also somewhat amused. This Alastair was apparently someone who was very hard to get on the bad side of. ‘Probably a good thing, too.’ Lara though, her hands still holding onto his huge broadsword.
“Yes you did, and I thank you for that. But I can’t give you a name like ‘The Conquerer’ until you conquer something which I doubt you have yet. When you do something worth such a name, I will give it to you.”
“You swear it, eh?” he laughed.
“I don’t swear. God’s Son said to simply let your ‘yea be yea, and nay be nay’, and that’s simply how it’s going to have to be.”
“I see. So you’re one of those?” he asked. Fane turned around quickly, studying Alastair’s face. “And you are not?”
Alastair shook his head. “No. And I am in the minority, in this country at least.”
Fane stood up, “Aye, I believe that, and it is a blessing from God. Other Followers in other lands are not so fortunate.”
“Aye.”
“So what do you believe?” Fane asked.
“Nothing really. I don’t really doubt His existence, but if there is such a God He obviously doesn’t bother himself with the affairs of man. Neither do I worship Him or any of His counterparts of the other religions of the world, and I suspect that those who do either don’t know any better or need something to fall back on.”
“A crutch, you mean?” Fane asked, his eyes darkened.
Alastair sighed, “Yes I suppose; no offense intended towards you or your sister. Will this effect whether or not I will still be accompanying you?”
“I should hope not.” Fane answered, offering a smile and a tilt of his head. After that they continued to wait out the rain in silence. The rain continued as night approached, so there they remained, huddled under an outstretched slab of rock, and slept. Again, Fane took first watch for the night, and while he did he played upon his flute, serenading the trees. Gradually his music slowed, and he paused occasionally when his mind began to wander. Finally he placed the flute back inside his coat, and though he did not close his eyes or kneel his head he began to pray silently to himself:
‘Lord, I come to You humbly, Your servant as always… My Lord, You promised us that if we ask it will be given us, provided we do not ask with a carnal mind. I now ask that You may use me, or however You deem right, to reach out to Alastair and bring him to Your heart. Let him see that You are not simply a crutch, to be used for the weak of heart, but the King of the world and Master and Savior of all. Let him see that You did more for Your people than he can even do for himself. And Lord, help him he see that he needs You.’
Fane took in a deep breath of the rain-scented air, and continued, this time praying what he prayed each night, though the words sometimes changed.
‘Help me to come closer to You each day, and to know Your will and do it. Lord, keep us safe this night and always. I ask all these things in the name of Your Son, Amen.”

Maybe my next excerpt will be when my peoples meet Dawn. Or the first time Izalda and Dendron come into the narrative! (If ‘you’ have no idea what I’m talking about, that’s quite alright, I haven’t told ‘you’ about them. Well actually I have, in a previous post… maybe. But I don’t think I used their names.)

In other news, I am currently at 11,441 and was just about to bring Dawn’s horrible ex-boyfriend like person, Brogan, onto the scene.

That’s all for now; I’m off to snack on some more chocolate!

~Colleen

November 2nd

Yesterday (Nov 1st) I wrote 4,409 words exactly. (*squeal!*) Honestly, I’m surprised it was that many words, because I didn’t feel likes got much done. It was odd yesterday because I wrote the prologue, got up, walked around my room or the house, went out to the living room to check my email and blogs and a forum and such, went back to write a few more paragraphs, came back out, went back in… And yet I wrote almost 4,500! *squeals again* I got far enough that I could bring the character Alastair in, which is a good thing because he sort of starts the plot going, and is the ‘life of the party’. At least in the writing aspect he is. (Oh, and he doesn’t have white hair after all. That’s just a bit too… ehh) I’m hoping to have Dawn come in some time today, it probably won’t be until later because the other characters have a lot of ground to cover.

I might have an excerpt up this week, but it’s not easy because the computer in my room which I write on doesn’t have internet access, so my dad has to do some kind of magical thing with a ‘thumb drive’ to get it onto this computer.

Alrighty then, I’m off to write. Something that counts toward my novel that is.

One Day More!

Now what am I supposed to say that will beat that?

I know:

“One more day to NANOWRIMOOO!

One more day ’till it begins!

There’s a new book to be writing!

And let’s hope that we all win!”

Okay, so it definitely doesn’t beat Les Miserables, but hey, it rhymes!

It’s only one more day. I hope everyone’s ready for it! I know I am!

Till tomorrow,

~Colleen